Hi all!
The wedding continued. I apologise for the delay. It’s been a busy couple of weeks. I was finally inspired to update my blog for 2 reasons. One my mum was asking me about it last night and two my blog is mentioned in the VSO March newsletter. Hi to any other VSO volunteers who are reading this. I’d love if you left a comment so I know who is reading and from where!
In Rwanda, a wedding is made up of three ceremonies. First there is the civil ceremony, then the dowry giving ceremony and finally the religious ceremony. The civil ceremony is usually a few months before the dowry giving and the religious ceremony which are usually held on the same day. My friends had their civil ceremony last September.
The dowry giving is a traditional ceremony in Rwanda. Everyone dresses up in the traditional dress. Banana leaves play a big part! The shoes I was wearing and a lot of the accessories were made of banana leaves. The bride is absent for a big part of the dowry giving ceremony as a big part of it involves the groom, the groom’s family and the brides’ family. As I was with the bride I missed the part before the bride comes out. It was great fun with the other bridesmaids dressing up in the traditional dresses. There was a lot of sewing involved! Unfortunately my home economics skills let me down so the other girls helped me sew the sash. I was glad I brought my camera so I could take some photos.
Then we got our cue to get ready. I was very unclear about what I was supposed to do as all instructions from the bride and mother of the bride were in Kinyarwanda. I figured I’d just follow everyone else. We were all given a wrapped gift to carry. Outside there was a marquee of beautifully dressed people. They were all there to celebrate the special day.
Then the male members of the groom’s family lined up and asked the permission of the male members of the bride’s family for permission to marry her. They are all refused until the groom makes his case and is allowed to marry her. The bride is then given the ring. Then we handed the gifts to the bride and she gave them to different members of the grooms’ family. He gives gifts to different members of her family. Although I could not understand what was being said, the importance of the family was very clear. After all the exchanges we ate before making a quick costume change before the church wedding.
We all changed from traditional outfits before the church ceremony. Although the dowry ceremony started late we were all at church on time. Cars brought us from the bride’s parents’ house to the church.
Although the previous evening I had been assured it couldn’t rain during a full moon, it rained. Luckily there were a multitude of umbrellas on hand to keep us dry. It was difficult to walk in the beautifully fantastic high heels but there always seemed to be an elbow to grab onto when needed. The church ceremony was very like home except for the presence of cameramen and their lighting equipment. It was like being on the scene of a TV show! The choir sang beautifully and there was drumming and clapping to the songs.
Afterwards the wedding photos were taken and the reception. The reception was held near the church. 3 marquees were erected. There were hundreds of people in attendance. There were speeches, a meal and the cutting of the cake. The cake was amazing! The chef came out to light sparklers and then the bride and groom cut 3 of the 5 tiers. The other 2 tiers were wrapped in cellophane and one was given to the bride’s family and the other was given to the groom’s family. After the reception, the gifts and us were put in the wedding car and brought to the bride and grooms home. All of the bride’s things were then brought from her parents’ house to her new home. The rest of the evening was spent chatting over drinks. Outside the men made speeches. I had my first taste of banana wine which is very sweet. After I gave a short speech about how happy I was to have been part of their special day I said my goodbyes. Most of the women had left at this stage so I thought it was a good time to leave. I made the short walk home under a fantastic starry sky reflecting on the amazing day I had had and thinking about how welcoming and friendly everyone had been to me.
I promise I'll write again soon.Slán,
Pauline
